神父总是不知所措/左右为难,因为

记得当年在修院的时候，曾经看过俄国著名文学家——列夫托尔泰的长篇小说《安娜卡列尼娜》。在书中，他一言道破了家庭的现象和事实：幸福的家庭家家相似，不幸的家庭各有各的不幸。这与我们常说的：家家有本难的经，有异曲同工之妙。
其实，每人都有一本难念的经，做神父的更是如此！某日，我们用餐时，本堂神父提及看过一篇名为A priest is always wrong because的文章。由于好奇心的驱使，终于在网络上找到了全文，此乃功夫不负有心人也。拙译如下，以飨吾友！

神父总是不知所措/左右为难，因为

如果他准时开始做弥撒，（教友就会说）神父的手表快；
如果晚了一分钟，（教友就会说），神父老让教友等；
如果他的道理长了一点，教友就会说，神父太无聊了；
若太短，教友就会说，神父没准备。
如果他出有車，神父太奢侈了；
若没有，神父落伍了。
如果他外出家访，神父总是外出；
如果不家访，神父不理教友。
如果他向教友募捐，神父要钱；
如果不向教友募捐，神父太懒，太自负。
如果教友告解稍长一些，神父太慢；
如果快一点，神父敷衍了事。
如果他装修圣堂，神父浪费钞票；
如果不装修，神父使教堂烂掉。
如果他跟年青人在一起，神父忽略了老年人。
如果他和妇女在一起，神父是花花公子；
如果他和男教友在一起，神父不正常；
如果他年轻，神父没经验；
如果年纪大了，神父应该退休。

只要他一息尚存，总有人比神父强；
但是他死了，却无人能取代他。



A priest is always wrong because
If he begins his mass on time, his watch is advanced;
If he begins a minute later, he keeps people waiting.
If he preaches too long, he makes people get bored;
If his homily is too short, he is unprepared.
If he owns a car, he is luxurious;If he does not own one, he does not go with the times.
If he goes out to visit families, he is always out:
If he does not, he has no time for them.
If he asks for donations, he is a moneymaker;
If he does not do it, he is too proud and lazy.
If he takes time in the confessional, he is too slow;
If he makes it too fast, he has no time for his penitents.
If he renovates the church, he throws away money;
If he does not do it, he allows everything to rot away.
If he is with the youth, he forgets the old.
If he is seen with women, he is a playboy;
If he goes with men, he is not normal;If he is young, he has no experience;
If he is old, he should retire.
As long as he lives, there are always people who are better than him;
BUT IF THE PRIEST DIES....THERE IS NOBODY TO TAKE HIS PLACE!